"I stood gimlet-eyed in the Hall to Paradise."
When at last the rain subsidesRising steam from August's heatFalls cooling summer's strange deviceWe rest at last all things complete.
Very appropriate for here the last few days.
On advice from an Orthodox poet friend (who is a surrealist) I've been trying to refine my style a bit. In particular, I'm trying to avoid excessively archaic devices (i.e. forsooth, thou, etc) unless properly used, and to avoid a sing-songyness. This poem only rhymes because the rhyme is natural - the phrase itself seems to beget the rhyme heat/complete. He said my antitheses were too predictable. Can't do much about that -- I'm not a surrealist! I can only write what I see.
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