The accusations are all quite true
Hypocrisy and what have you
I am not the man I seem
(I don't even support this team)
Virtues I simply don't possess
Have you seen how vain I dress?
Indeed I've judged most everyone
And I find not working to be fun
And fun I find quite tiresome
So I do all things under the gun
But even were I the worst you knew
We'd still have this work to do.